I have just finished my 2nd chemo and after initially being told it would only take a couple of hours and it was a rapid dose, 5 hours later I left the hospital!
I just wanted to recap over the last 3 weeks, which have gone in the blink of an eye, of how my thoughts and feelings around cancer, treatment and life in general has been. I have probably come across most emotions from a feeling of despair to uncontrollable euphoria during this time.
Initially, I started on a very strict plant based diet and with having a lot of success around the time of my radiotherapy treatment, I saw a huge weight loss and my energy levels were through the roof. When getting the all clear from the radiotherapy, I celebrated by having a Chinese take away!! And slowly allowed myself to have the odd piece of chicken and prawns into my salads and stir fry's. But when I started to find the stomach pains and then found out my diagnosis, I fell right off the wagon. I felt sorry for myself and the weekend before I started my first lot of chemo I had a massive food binge and even allowed myself a drink of alcohol. Now, I am slowly getting back on the wagon and see that a plant based diet is the best way forward for myself and juicing is my new passion.
One weekend I woke up and felt completely hopeless and that I would never get over having cancer. I kept thinking, no one recovers from chemotherapy and its going to be a slow road to death, thankfully those thoughts passed quite quickly and I remembered all of the people I knew that had been successful in the treatments and were living happy normal lives.
I also believe I have a great outlook on life and quite a warped sense of humour (not sure everyone one agrees with that) and hopefully you see that in the upcoming blogs, but find this a massive help to get through the dark days. Laughing and joking certainly helps to lift the mood and I always think that, if this all goes tits up, then I have had pretty good innings and can have no complaints.
I also think having something to look forward to and setting yourself goals is an important part of this process. One thing my brother, Craig, said to me at the outset and it has stuck with me was "once this is all over with, get yourself back to the Maldives". From that statement, I have booked a holiday in February in the Southern Hemisphere and that is what I am striving for and looking forward too.